Southern men, you gotta love 'em

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Thursday, 30-Oct-2014 19:12:16

A small zoo in Fayetteville, North Carolina obtained a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat.
To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the zoo keeper thought of Larry, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.
Larry, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.
The zoo keeper thought they might have a solution.

Larry was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

Larry showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:

"First", Larry said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." ~ The keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second", he said, "she must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." ~ The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this." ~ The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Fourth", Larry said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." ~ Once again it was agreed.

"And last ", Larry said, "I'm gonna need another week to come up with the $500.00".

Post 2 by vh (This site is so "educational") on Thursday, 30-Oct-2014 23:24:05

That is soooo wrong!
I'm still laughing.

Post 3 by Pasco (my ISP would be out of business if it wasn't for this haven I live at) on Friday, 31-Oct-2014 2:22:11

Southern men hell. Pretty much all men if they are horny enough.

Post 4 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Friday, 31-Oct-2014 8:36:51

LOL Pasco, anything you wanna tell us about your love life?

Post 5 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Friday, 31-Oct-2014 11:43:15

Furry fandom?

Post 6 by forereel (Just posting.) on Friday, 31-Oct-2014 21:03:05

Yep, the girls back on her game. Lol.

Post 7 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Saturday, 01-Nov-2014 15:06:09

Dammit Becky you swore you wouldn't tell.
I just need a few more days and I'll have the full amount.

Bob

Oh yes, thanks for posting this, I guess.

Post 8 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Saturday, 01-Nov-2014 19:06:50

But Bob, I actually thought you texas boys preferred sheep.

Post 9 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Sunday, 02-Nov-2014 10:54:54

All I have to say is bah.

I thought you Ohio ladies liked anything long and hard, be it a nail or a canon.

Bob